4 min read

The Dark Cloud of Adulthood: Unwiring the Aggression

College of DuPage recently hosted a Black Student Leadership Conference at the Glen Ellyn campus, 425 Fawell Blvd. The conference included a Mock College Admissions game, Career Exploration Express, admissions representatives from various colleges and a College Fair.

We’re a long way from the sandbox. Smiling takes a little effort from this distance. We were born into innocence without the slightest clue of race or class. We probably stared at ourselves in a mirror (as babies – maybe we were carried into the bathroom and mum was washing her hands with us in her arms) and didn’t even recognize ourselves. Those days are long gone. Now, not only are we critical of our own reflections, but we’ve got opinions about those around us too. We’ve grown into full blown adults, completely aware of our fears, concerns, inhibitions, complaints, and everything else that comes with the daily life of adulthood. For some of us, the journey from childhood to adulthood curls us up into pessimistic, skeptical, fearful, and isolated adults whose growth buds like an ingrown hair.

Oh, but a story.

According to ⁠World Counts⁠, 385,000 babies are born across the world each day. There’s poetry there – 385,000 new stories begin across the world each day. Stories that are complete with failure, triumph, pain, loss, and other emotional climaxes. You can guarantee that each of those newborns will experience some of that in their life. Some could be born right in the middle of poverty or war and wouldn’t know a thing. ⁠The National Institutes of Health⁠ says that the newborn infant is only conscious at a minimal level. Phillip David Zelazo of the ⁠University of Toronto⁠ says that children’s growth of consciousness happens in 4 stages, leading to a “complex processing of higher-order and subordination”. He also says that adults go through similar phases as they continue in life. The days pass on, some cloudy and others bright, and we continue to learn how to process it all. It’s all part of the process of shedding the innocence of childhood. We get some bumps and bruises along the way and according to ⁠Medicine Today⁠, some people become cynical, emotional, and behavioral crippling as they shed their innocence. Some develop gradual, or sudden, dangerous skepticism. The “gauntlet” of life is the painful bombardment of responsibility.

“The Gauntlet Theory”

In fact, I’ve found that “The Gauntlet Theory” reveals a fork in the road (or, many of them) to the grave that points to adverse reactions to some of life’s tough choices. The heartbreak that turned a romantic’s heart cold, the thief who stole the soul of the generous, etc. The Psalmist Hayley Williams of ⁠Paramore⁠ sings about how tough this period can be in their song, ⁠Ain’t It Fun⁠. Losing that childhood (and even adolescent) innocence is a hard process. Life begins to happen and there’s no one else to carry our burdens. We begin to experience social, spiritual, romantic, financial, health, and career pain along with an unspoken illusion of expectation of dealing with it all – perfectly.

Let’s Explore

Today’s episode explores this journey to understand how skeptic adults are made. The dark cloud of adulthood is watching people who used to love to smile forget its power. We’ll explore how The Gauntlet Theory takes a toll on our souls and creates two emotional responses based on research from ⁠Better Help⁠. Then we’ll analyze the science of defensiveness and discover the cure to it all, based on research from ⁠Science Daily⁠. Our goal is to improve our connections with each other and seek other solutions to coping with adulthood instead of diving into a pool of skepticism, isolation, and fear. Those traits are not conducive to empowerment.

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